I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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