the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
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