Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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