I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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