Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
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