It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I don't think brook has ever known best
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
