walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
