508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
