HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
