Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
