she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
