I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
