got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
