he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
