Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Randomize
