I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
