Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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