I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
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