I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
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