i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
