a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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