so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
