I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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