I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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