no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
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