You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Randomize
