first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
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