You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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