The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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