yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Randomize
