I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
