It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
