i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
