She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
