I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
