like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
