Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
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