Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
