Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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