I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Randomize
