He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
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