i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
