your thong is hanging out like whoa
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Randomize
