And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
