Who did Billy Mays play for?
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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