your parents love me but you hate me
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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