"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
