i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
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