Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
