i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
